And now, here I am, 2 months later, wondering if the reason I haven't been inspired to write was because the idea of counteracting individual pro-ana myths didn't spur enough passion in me. Yes, I want to be on the front lines, in the trenches of this war against eating disorders. Yes, I feel compelled to share my story and experience. Yes, I know my purpose in life is to provide hope and eliminate loneliness for those suffering.
But how?
Maybe the answer isn't going to come from bright lights and interrogation of pro-ana sites. I could dissect the horrible, ridiculous, sickening lies that bounce around that shadowy corner of the internet by relaying all the honest realities that I learned from my team of medical professionals. But does anyone really care? I mean, seriously. There are cazillions of articles on the internet meant to educate readers about the proper way to calculate macronutrients. The benefits of healthy fats. Moderation. Sweet jesus, the moderation.
This leaves me in a pickle. I don't know what to write about partly because I have lost most of my readers. So whatever I do next either has to be entirely therapeutic for me, knowing that the best I will get is a few people who will accidentally click on my link thinking that it is something super cool about the volcano in Ecuador, Antisana.
Or I need to put in shit tons (yes, "shit tons" is an actual measurement) of effort reviving Zoloft and Coffee The Anti Ana.
You will not get an answer in this post. Yes, I'm talking to you, you adventurous volcano climber, you. This is going to take some thought. I am going to have to analyze how I want to spend those 13 minutes of freedom I get per week. How to maximize them for my enjoyment and, potentially, other people's advocacy.
But in the chaos that is my life and the quarter century crisis that is going on far too long, if you ask me, soul searching galore is happening in my head on an hourly basis. Somehow, I always end up back here.
Stay tuned, folks.
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