Found a Vein of Hope

My reasons for writing are two-fold.

1.  I promised I would come here when I had a little bit of hope.

2.  That hope is making me think I'm Superman; writing grounds me.

I have the downstairs clean enough that I don't feel like I am reminded of all my failures every time I turn my head. That being said, I can see every speck of dust I missed, see every hidden space that I know is just a cornucopia of disgust, and feel the overwhelming need to fix it all at once. While doing something for myself to relax. And writing a book. All before lunch.

Maybe this isn't hope. Maybe it's a manic delusion. But if it were a delusion, wouldn't I not be aware of the fact that I'm in a delusional state? For the sake of my sanity, let's call it hope. I digress.

On top of the downstairs being clean enough to not need to escape to the safety of under the blanket, I may have actually stumbled across something that could help. This awesome place offers free classes in yoga, meditation, and more. For free! I know I said "free" twice. It's super important. 

If I can keep up this momentum, not paralyzed by my own depression or detonating under the pressure of my racing head, I might be able to make it tonight. 9 hours until Buddha has a chance to work his magic.